Growing up, it didn’t matter what religion or spiritual background you came from, most of us were told that there is one way to love your partner. There is only one way to show this love. You can only love one person. There is only one ‘right’ person out there for you; and that you can only love certain people— right? Okay. Way to apply pressure; especially to the sexually confused souls. Now, let’s be honest, how many of us actually believe that?
For example, being gay is “wrong,” but because your parents said so, you believed them and when you got older, you started to question, ‘Why?’ The same goes for marriage and committing to a person for the rest of your life. Why does your relationship have to look a certain way and why do you have to commit to each other after a certain amount of time? Love is love and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
As a kid, I would briefly think about my wedding day and what it might look like, whereas some of my friends would only talk about getting married— their Pinterest boards went on and on. But for me, I didn’t think about marriage like that. I didn’t understand why they were so obsessed with this and I couldn’t figure out why I felt the way I did. Both my parents were/are happily married. So as a kid, I tried imitating the other girls because I thought there was something wrong with me. Heck, I don’t think about intimate relationships as often as some of my peers do. I always saw marriage as a serious commitment, but I don’t need some guy in a court house to tell me it’s a legit relationship or that I genuinely care for this person. The same people that applied all that pressure over who/what/how to love, were the same people preaching at you, saying you had to get married. And to further that, if you’re a woman, you’re pressured to be married by a certain age.
It’s 2021 now, and there are still stigmas on the LGBTQ+ community, choosing to be single, choosing to not get married, and so on. That’s why I love the Committed Relationship Ceremony that the Eeshan Church of Metta Spirituality provides. Your color, creed, sexual orientation and so on, do not matter. If you love your partner and they love you back, then that’s it. That’s all that needs to be said. You and your partner have committed to each other and have chosen how you will show and treat the status of your relationship. It’s okay that some couples don’t need the government or the ‘church’ involved. You two made that decision together. You two trust each other to be there for one another. You are accountable for your actions and if you mess up, that’s all on you and you must face those consequences.
A committed relationship is like a marriage without the white dress, court, and the actual act of getting married and all the pressure that comes from it. In fact, people have been having committed relationship ceremonies over marriage for years! Don’t believe me? What do you think the LGBTQ+ community has been doing up until 2015?
To reference what I said earlier, “Love comes in all shapes and sizes,” but you have to love yourself first. God made you, He/She/They know who you are. You were handcrafted by God so all of the imperfections that you think you have? God doesn’t see them. If you really want to commit to a relationship, then commit to loving yourself the way God loves you. Don’t be ashamed for who you are and whom you love. Own it and flaunt it.
I happened to be staying in Times Square this past weekend, and thought the Pride parade was cancelled, but people still showed up and cheered, sang, danced and showed their support.
One of the many reasons why I love New Yorkers, they always speak their mind and don’t apologize for it. We have all endured a tough year, so to see people together and happy, made me overfilled with joy. I couldn’t help but feel the positive energy they exuded and it only made me ecstatic and ready to run.
Love is the most powerful energy. I had walked several miles by the time I made it back to Times Square, I was tired, hot, chafing, hungry and dreading the drive home. The second I saw New York marching; I was sent to cloud nine. Their energy and love was so loud and bright, I hadn’t even realized I walked another mile in the parade. Love is so powerful it can change your perspective instantly.
Choosing to have a Committed Relationship Ceremony holds both parties in the relationship accountable for their actions and is a sign of their commitment. It’s a way of honoring the promise the two parties have made to each other, without the pressure and title of “marriage.” Marriage is important and should be considered for people who believe strongly behind the definition of marriage and who are completely devoted to their partner. Marriage should be considered for couples who are confident in their relationship and want to hold each other accountable not only in the eyes of God, but to the world. Committed Relationships should be considered for couples who have endured much pain from a previous marriage or similar relationship, couples who are truly devoted to each other but are not ready for marriage, and couples who wish to have a deeper and more spiritual relationship with their partner and God before getting married.
This ceremony takes away the pressure to jump into marriage and allows you to be committed to each other on a deeper level and not involve other parties like ‘the church,’ the government, and/or whole families. This ceremony will hold both parties accountable in the relationship they have designed, in God’s eyes. This is a promise to one another.
As I sat down to write this post, I turned on some music and began brainstorming my thoughts. All of a sudden, “End of the Day” by One Direction started playing. I immediately started to laugh. The line “love can be frightening but at the end of the day, you love who you love… and you follow your heart,” sums up my entire message. It’s THAT simple. I have so much I could write about love, marriage, and the LGBTQ+ community, and commitment, but honestly, the truth is: love is love and it comes in all shapes and sizes. So, as I was thinking about how to write this post, I thought the timing was clearly a divine power providing an incredibly simple way of summing up my thoughts: love is love and it comes in all shapes and sizes.